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Stupid love I guess___

Rašau iš telefo nes darrrrrbas

Kas galėjo pagalvoti kad jis gali būti toks nuobodus

Užknisa

Noriu namo

Ir noriu į gamtą

Ir noriu daryti dalykus kuriuos noriu daryti

Ir panašiai

Nežinau

Kažkoks durnas pavasaris galvoj

Man šilta

Kojos prakaituoja

Užknisa

Man patiko kai amžinai būdavo šalta

Žinau, kad nesveika

Bet jautiesi tokia auka

Ir pan.

It žinai

Viskas kas nenormalu

Yra a ok in my book

_______________________

What do you mean

I have long black hair and big blue eyes

And I like to eat at McDonald’s

And when the last time I’ve tried to talk to someone

They ran away

And said that I was a weirdo

And I am

I eat with my left hand and write with my right hand

I open the doors with my foot

And Everytime I go to the bed I have to do fifty jumping jacks just to piss off my neighbors and God I guess

To get back at him for making me born

For making me experience all this shit

And love

Oh you stupid dumb love

What the hell

He told me he loves me and then stopped talking to me

Because I haven’t said it back

I’m stupid for not doing that

I was scared it was weird

He called me, angry and accused me of confessing that shit a month ago

And I’m like. Why? Why are you acting like this

I mean

I don’t know

It’s confusing as hell

And I’m dumb as hell

So it’s twice as fun

No

It’s thrice as fun

Cause it’s a word

.

And I want to write him and tell him I thought he was joking when he told me he loves me

Because it kinda felt that way

But I think he hates me at the moment

And maybe forever

And never again

And I’m stupid

I don’t know

I should cut myself some slack

Or maybe I should push myself harder

Who the fuck knows

I’m supposed to be working

And it’s summer

And it’s stupid

And I just want to have one

Fucking friend

Why the hell it’s so fucking hard

Is there something wrong with me

Even spiders have friends

I presume

Even the weirdo from my office

Who wants to talk to me

He has friends

I guess

I don’t really know

We’re not that special after all

We’re just stupid

Both of us

And that’s that

Can you please tell me you love me. Anyways

Like

Just for fucking fun

And I should stop with that foul language

I should be sweet and shit

I should wear skirts and fucking giggle all the time

Maybe I should go to the doctor

Maybe there’s something wrong with me

Seriously wrong

Well, I love you

There

I’ve said it

With no fucking past tenses and shit

God. I can’t wait for this fucking travesty to be over

And I do know what travesty means

I just like to use that word in a weird way

Ok. I’m off to the fucking races.

Because I’m stupid

X

Girls next to me hugged each other

Is that what you want from me

.to hug fucking everybody

To wear dresses and perfume

And to comb my hair

And to say hello and goodbye and bless you. And fuck you. And no thank you

And whatever

And I guess I should love myself in the first place

It usually means buying lots of fucking food

And I hate food

I hate eating

If it would  be my will I would stop eating all together and be cold all the time

God.

I wish I would be someone else

Like that girl with long blonde hair

She’s just a girl

Just a sweet simple girl

No closeted weirdo or anything

Fuck

How come I don’t do normal stuff

And why I always have to think about death

Fuck

I want to write him sooo bad

Like sooooo bad

And I know how it would go.

And I would say hello

And he would ask me how am I

And I would as say awesome

Although I’m not

And he’s awesome as well. I guess

And well

You know

That’s it

No more

Texting for another week or so.

Fuck

Until my fucking period or something

When I wouldn’t be able to control myself and write him regardless

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

I guess I should go back to my fucking work

Cause I’m not a fucking girl in the first place

So there’s really no reason my gawking at him and dreaming all those stupid dreams

God.

I hate love

Patiko (1)

Rodyk draugams

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